natural birds

2009-05-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

new sketches

2009-05-27T23:21:00.002-05:00

33 things you didn't know (or didn't really need to know) about me.

2009-05-22T14:27:00.005-05:00

1. I was born in a super small town in Iowa, my parents divorced when i was 2. I then moved to another small town in Iowa, then to Illinois (right outside of Peoria). I lived there until i was 14 or 15, then moved to Columbia. I moved away from Columbia for 6 or 7 months and lived in Milwaukee, and then moved back to Columbia. I love and hate Columbia pretty equally.

2. If you have ever looked at my ears they are folded at the top. I hate this more than anything, and have thought about getting plastic surgery to fix it. My dad said when i was born i got stuck and they had to pull me out with big tongs by my ears and that's why they are like that, they never popped back. Not sure if that is true but..... regardless i am very self conscious about them and i hate it.

3. When i was little i was really good at rollerskating (like really really good) i won a bunch of awards or something. Now i can't roller skate at all, i simply forget how to do it all together.

4. I couldn't ride a bike until i was like 10 or 12.

5. My last name used to be GIOVANARDI, my great grandfather changed it to NARDI, then later changed it to NARDY.

6. I am half Italian and half Irish, though i don't think i look like either. My great grandfather was born in Italy as well as my grandfather (he lived there until he was 16). Every once in awhile you can hear the Italian in my voice and my beard is very red (so i guess that is the Irish in me).

7. When i was in the 6th, 7th, and 8th grades i was told i was a genius at math, i passed all these crazy hard tests. By the time i was in high school i was in some of the lowest math classes possible, to this day i am not very good at math. I have no idea what happened.

8. I did my first tour with a band when i was 16, i didn't even have a drivers license, i think only one of us did. When i was in high school we toured every winter, spring, and summer break. I still tour with bands i have been doing it for almost 13 years now. I love it and hate it.

9. When i lived in Milwaukee i built industrial size ovens, bigger than most peoples living rooms. They took a few months to build and i had no experience doing that type of work. I had to weld, read blue prints and fabricate these oven from scratch (basically just pieces of metal, screws, wires, duct work, and insulation). They were used for everything from curing missile heads, to drying paint on doors. I had no idea what i was doing, but somehow built them.

10. You may think i do a lot of drugs, truth is i have never done coke, heroin, LSD, ecstasy, or anything of that nature. I have only smoked pot 3 times in my life and ate it twice. I do however enjoy drinking. I'm really not that into drugs and was straight edge for along period of time.

11. I am extremely OCD, i freak out if things aren't in order. It is hard to explain but my obsessive compulsive disorder is really bad. This allows me to be extremely organized. I hardly ever loose anything. Messes really bother me though. I also have really bad social anxiety disorder.

12. When i was 15 or 16 my parents thought i was crazy, and every time i got sick i would pass out. They made me go to a hospital and get MRI's and CAT scans of my brain and i had to do all these crazy tests. I don't know what the results were no one ever told me.

13. Out of my entire family i really only care about my mother. Sure i love my family, but i am not that close with any of them except for her. I really honestly believe none of my family totally understand me, or care enough to try to understand me.

14. Sometimes i am convinced that i am slightly retarded, i swear to god. It is a total fear i have.

15. For some reason hearing aids and deaf people really really make me sad and depressed. It really bothers me. I kind of flipped out and got really sad when i was watching The Wrestler, because Mickey Rourke's character had a hearing aid. I think it is because i have fear of going deaf. I think being deaf would be the worst thing ever.

16. My left ear rings non-stop. This is from playing loud music most of my life.

17. Though i have played guitar and bass since i was 13 and have been in bands since i was 15, i can't read music. I don't know notes or chords, i make up everything i play. I know your basics (the notes of each string in standard tuning) but i if you tell me to play a C or A i couldn't tell you were they are. i generally know what key things are in. However i can write to anyone pretty easily, and have written lot's of songs and parts on bass, guitar, and keyboard. I know how to get by, but i think it is ridiculous that i have gotten this far with music without out knowing notes. I have also created my own tunings. I am slowly learning i guess.

18. I once wrote a song about cobras (or rather Bald Eagle did) and got paid $10,000 and we all got free Microsoft Zunes. The funny thing is that song is about nothing at all. One day i bought valve stem covers for the tires on our van and they were little cobra heads. After practice McCrady asked me what the fuck they were, i responded "Those are Cobras, Man". We wrote the lyrics in 10 minutes while we were recording it, we only had the music prior to going to the studio.

19. I was raised Catholic, but stopped caring when i was 16. I have very weird views on religion, and I'm not sure what i believe in.

20. I own a house

21. I have been to every state except for five (Hawaii, Alaska, North Dakota, Nevada, and Maine)

22. One of my front teeth is fake (well half of it). I knocked it out 3 different times on a microphone.

23. i have over 30 tattoos, i regret every single one of them.

24. My parents told me i wasn't supposed to be born, they had a child between my brother and me that died at birth. If that child wouldn't have died, they would have never had me. They only wanted two children.

25. I have played well over 300 shows in my life.

26. My best friend and i have the same first name, our brothers have the same name, and our mothers have the same name.

27. I hate the name Justin. I prefer it when people call me Nardy. I have thought about changing my name to just J.

28. I have been a vegetarian for 10 years (yes i have cheated a few times). I started eating fish and seafood in the last year, and have thought about going back to eating meat. However lately i am pretty pro- vegetarianism, and will definetly stick with it for awhile longer.

29. I did a lot of fucked up things as a child, i don't even know where to begin.

30. In the most roundabout way possible, i am related to Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway.

31. I don't know how to swim.

32. When i was in the 2nd grade i bought Metallica's "Kill em All" on tape, it changed my life.

33. When i was in the 5th grade my neighbor killed himself. I can still remember seeing the cops clean the blood off his wall.

I WENT ON TOUR AND GOT SOME NEW MUSIC:

2009-05-04T18:59:00.002-05:00

VINYL

Young Widows/Bonnie Prince Billy- split 7"

Grandaddy- Crystal Lake 7"

Crosby Stills Nash-s/t

Crosby Stills Nash- So Far

Wings- Band on The Run (2 copies)

Paul McCartney - McCartney

Paul McCartney - McCartney 2

John Lennon- Imagine (good copy w/ full poster)

Q and Not U - Power (already had this on CD but since it was cheap on vinyl i picked it up)

These Arms Are Snakes- Easter

Golden- Apollo Stars

Bright Eyes- Noise Floor

Wings- Wings Over America

The Beatles- White Album

Kenny Rogers and The First Edition- Greatest Hits

Decibully- State ep

These Arms are Snakes/Russian Circles - split 12"

Cheap Trick- Live at Budokan

Lightning Dust- s/t

Graham Nash- Songs For Beginners (already had a copy of this, but hey having 2 can't hurt, hands down my favorite record ever, both copies bought for $1)

Jefferson Airplane - Surrealistic Pillow

Kiss- Destroyer

The Beatles - second album

George Harrison- All Things Must Pass

Rush- A Farewell To Kings

Billy Cobham - Spectrum

Caribou- Andorra

Crosby Nash- live 77

Paul and Linda McCartney- Ram

Aerosmith- Toys in The Attic

Def Leppard- Pyromania

Huey Lewis and The News- Fore

The Beatles- Meet The Beatles

Neil Young and Crazy Horse- Live Rust

Rush- 2112

Decibully-City of Festivals

Decibully- Sing Out America

CDS

Post Honeymoon- s/t

Chin Up Chin Up- This Harness Can't Ride Anything

Capybara- Try Brother

Oxes- ep

XBXRX- Sixth in Sixes

Ben Davis and The Jetts/Des Ark- Battle of The Beards split

Grandaddy- Just Like The Fambly Cat

Grandaddy- A Pretty Mess By This Band

Grandaddy- Through A Frosty Plate Glass ep

Sinkane- Sinkane

ALSO

2009-01-26T20:46:00.002-06:00

I also did a shot with Tim in Columbia and we talked about drinking less, and touring less as we get older. We talked a bit about Cursive and The Good Life and him taking time off.

I also met A.J. Mogis in Omaha and we geeked out about bass gear.

BALD EAGLE GOES TO OMAHA and PLAYS WITH CURSIVE

2009-01-26T15:06:00.013-06:00

I mentioned in an earlier blog that my band Bald Eagle had been invited to play two shows with Cursive. On Thursday we played our home town of Columbia, MO with them and another band from Omaha/Saddlecreek Records, Ladyfinger. The show was at Mojo's and eventually sold out, I'm guessing somewhere between 200-300 people. That show went well, but was kind of a cluster fuck because of the small stage at Mojo's and the large amount of equipment on stage.

Now the real reason of this post is to talk about Saturday's show in Omaha, NE. Saturday morning we wake up and struggle to get a plan together about who will be tagging along with us to Omaha. Matt from Cursive told us we could probably get 5-10 people into the show, or also bring people as "crew" members. Which was great news, when we found out that the show was SOLD OUT. I tried to get my roommates to go, Kevin was in, but Billy had to shoot a video for The Foundry Field Recordings, so he couldn't make it. My friend Chris was also down for going, but we were looking for a couple more people to help split the cost of the drive and possible hotel room, after no such luck Bald Eagle and our friends Chris and Kevin left for Omaha. Bald Eagle in the van and Cris and Kevin in a car. The 5 hour drive actually went pretty quick, and we had little trouble finding The Slowdown (the club were the show was being held). The Slowdown is in a part of Omaha that i guess used to be pretty shitty, and now some developer has moved in and cleaned things up. It had a Urban Outfitters, and American Apparel store right next door. As well as a hip coffee shop, and what looked to be a upscale movie theatre. Not to mention the rad loft apartments across the street (i will get to that later).

So we show up at the club and walk in and are immediately blown away. The layout of this place was unreal. It is hands down the nicest club/bar/venue i have ever seen or had the chance to play in. The front room/bar area is huge by itself and has a small stage (maybe a little bigger than Eastside Tavern, and a lot taller). This room can be used for smaller shows as a divider wall can be pulled across the back of the bar blocking the main room (which also can make the big room smaller, for a little bit bigger shows i.e. something like Mojo's). However if you open the divider, you now have a full size venue about the size of The Blue Note (minus the balcony) though there is a small balcony at The Slowdown it is not as big as The Blue Note's. Here is a drawing of the layout.
We are told to go behind the divider wall, behind the wall Cursive is set up and doing a sound check. We get our first look at the stage and, really the club itself. It is designed very well, there is kind of a concrete pit with stair that lead down to it (which is the main area people would be standing in to watch a show) but there are also different levels around the pit with chairs, and stairs that go to the upstairs balcony as well. Plus people can be back at the bar/main room and still see perfectly. The sight lines were great and probably pretty well thought out. This club is only about a year and half old and is apparently owned by the guys who own Saddlecreek Records, their offices were in the building as well (didn't get to see them, but was told were they where located). Hopefully these pictures help you get a understanding of the stage and cement pit i am talking about.

So we are checking out the stage and rad photos on the wall, and Tim Kasher comes out from backstage and says hello. He says "why are you guys out here, come in back and say hello, there is real nice back stage area to hang out in" So we go back stage and at first we just see a load in area and a hall behind the stage with a bathroom. Tim says, "no you have to go upstairs, that is were everyone is at". So we go up a staircase and find a first room filled with tubs of beer, water, red bull, and soda. The rest of Cursive is hanging out in there. The room is very nice and has a washer and dryer in it as well as a full bathroom with a shower and fresh towels (it was out of this world to see a backstage area this nice. Down the hall was another "hangout room" with 4 couches and a giant window that you could look out of, right onto the stage. Basically if you wanted to watch the show from that room you could have by simply looking out that window (this room was more for us and Fortnight, the other band playing the show). However Cursive seemed pretty cool about us using their room too, until it got closer to the show, then they kind of closed things up. I however think that was more on the club than them. We all shared a growler of 2003 barley wine from flat branch, that was brought by friend Chris. Off of the hang out room were door that lead to the balcony were the bands could also watch the show and they were blocked off from the public. The backstage area looked like this. Though these pictures do little justice to how nice it was, the rooms were to big to get full pictures of i also missed out on taking a picture of the washer and dryer and bathroom.

After hanging out for what must have been an hour of Cursive doing a sound check we finally loaded in. Having Kevin and Chris proved to be pretty useful, since it was pretty cold in Omaha. Instead of 4 people we had 6 to unload. The show was also big enough that Kevin ran our merch table all night (instead of the usual me running it). This was a huge help as the merch table was very busy all night and i usually have to bust my ass to get there right after we play, this way i could relax and help load out. So we load in (which was easy because the club had a drive up for vans and a garage door that opened for easy load in). No bullshit stairs, plus plenty of room to store all the equipment. We then do a sound check and everything sounds great, both sound guys are really nice (the only club i think we have sounded better in is The Beat Kitchen in Chicago, maybe The Blue Note, but i think The Slowdown sounded better). After sound check we go searching for some batteries (because one of my adapters broke) and some food. After driving around and kind of getting lost we settle for the coffee shop next door to the club. They pretty much just had sandwiches (which took about 20 minutes to make) they were good but not 20 minutes worth of waiting good. The girl behind the counter looked like Thora Birch, but she was wearing over sized dumb ass 80's glasses that seem to be cool (they are not) i just wanted to reach over the counter and push them up her nose, or better yet throw them away. After eating Chris and I go across the street and get two hotel rooms, we wheeled and dealed with the lady behind the counter and i mentioned us playing across the street to see if would get us a discount (it worked, $20 off of each room). This hotel was pretty new and offered a free breakfast and flat screens in the room. SWEET!

We go back to the club and chill for a bit and meet Fortnight, they were all really nice. Fornight took the stage first and the club started filling up. After their set we loaded on stage and began our set. Everything went great, besides a small fuck up at the end of our first song and Mikey's guitar going out (which happened while we were tuning and luckily not in the middle of a song, it was recovered by Danny having another guitar, and McCrady and I providing some bass and drum dance beats also accompanied by the micro korg). All in all i thought we played great, and had a good response. Danny had to give away some guitar picks and a set list and i had some kids that drove from California state talk to me. We ended up selling over $300 in merch. Which was like 12 copies of Hot Shoulder on CD and 4 or 5 on LP, plus 4 or 5 shirts and a few copies of the older cd's (we are officially out of the Wind Up Dead In A Camaro e.p.). I had pretty much everyone of the bartenders and staff tell us how much they like us. Even a few people who had come just to see Cursive told me they were kind of bored by Cursive (i thought Cursive was great that night), but were very glad that we had played and that they got to see us.

Cursive went on and played great, they gave shout outs to both us and Fortnight. We just drank and hung out while they played, and i got to see my old friend Lincoln Dickinson and his wife Kate. Plus one of the bartenders was my friend Boz i know from way back when who played/plays in a band called Her Flyaway Manner (from Lincoln, NE). So it was great to catch up with them. After the show the promoter (Marc from 1% productions) had a lot of good things to say and invited us back, and gave me his card. I felt pretty good that we had impressed so many people and had a chance to play a SOLD OUT show with a band like Cursive who has been around for 15 years and that i respect in so many ways. There ended up being somewhere between 500-600 people at the show.

So the show finishes and we are loaded up, we stick around for awhile and shoot the shit with Ted and Matt from Cursive. They pretty much decide they are gonna call it a night. They had to drive their gear back to a practice space and Tim and Cornbread were both sick. I figure they had more important people to see and hangout with than us anyways. Lucky for us Fortnight had invited us to a party at their loft which happened to be right across the street. So we bought some beer from the bar and went to the party. The lofts used to be a Ford manufacturing plant. Someone came in and gutted the building and built a ton of lofts in there. They were amazing and i really wish Columbia had something like this, not sure what the price tag on them would have been, but the design and layout was pretty impressive. Fortnight had made us some mac and cheese, so we hung out and drank with them and later most of the bartenders from The Slowdown and a few people from the show showed up. Chris got hit on by a couple of milfs, pretty great. Mikey and McCrady had already gone back to the hotel, so Danny, Kevin, Chris and I stubble in around 3 or 4. Chris and I went and talked to this Russian girl at the counter and got her to get us a roll away bed for the room. We all pass out and wake up to a bunch of snow. FUN! So we get up and get our free breakfast, which wasn't to bad for a hotel (eggs, muffins, cereal, fruit, doughnuts, juice, coffee, yogurt, etc.) and then we pack up and hit the road. Our windshield wipers were sucking so we went to a gas station to buy new ones and had a hell of a time getting the old ones off, to realize we bought the wrong size. I had to go return them and then we went to a different gas station to see if they had the right size. We found what we needed and got them on, they still sucked. The ride home was cold, and wet. The heat wasn't working well, and our windshield was hard to see out of. My feet were wet and cold from snow going through the holes in my shoes. We made it back in under 5 hours and everyone was tired. We unloaded and went our separate ways. The trip was over.

All in all i had a blast, there was a small argument that i left out that kind of ruined the night. It isn't worth mentioning on here. I looked past it and had fun with the people that were in a good mood. I am really glad that we got to be a part of this show, and i was super impressed with The Slowdown and Omaha in general. The other two times i had been to Omaha sucked. We played at shitty clubs to pretty much nobody and it wasn't much fun. Hopefully our next trip there will be as good. Thank you so much to Cursive. It was nice to play in front of 500 + people who had never seen us, and for it to all go over so well, and get the great response that we got. Lets do it again.

Here is a video of a new song called "Barf City" it was our last song of the set.

Time Traveling

2009-01-13T14:12:00.003-06:00

We are already 13 days into the new year, and i wanted to start posting on here a little more often. So i am going to start from the night of Dec. 31st 2008.

New years eve i got off work early and went to one of the worst movies i have ever seen (The Spirit). After the movies i went to the store and got sushi and wine. This was going to be my dinner, i drank the entire bottle of wine and then got a call about the plans for evening. I was to meet some of my friends at Bleu for dinner, well i figured i would just get drinks. We met up and i had a beer from the bar and a small dinner. I also had a glass of wine and a glass of champagne, we headed to the Blue Note for some new years celebration (it was kind of lame). At the Blue Note i was welcomed with a shot, then a beer and another shot. I then bought myself a beer and a shot, and later had two glasses of champagne. After midnight and no new years kiss we headed to Eastside to end the night. I had a very weird mixed drink that Pants called "don't drink the kool-aid", it did taste like kool-aid and i am pretty sure it is what fucked me up. After that drink i was asked how i was doing and decided i needed another drink, so i took a shot and immediately had to go to the bathroom to puke. That was it for the drinking. That was also it for anything i can remember. The rest of the night i don't remember anything that happened ( i call this time traveling).

I was told that we left Eastside and while walking back to the van i was riding in, i saw 3 girls crossing the street, i walked up to one of them who was apparently taller than me and wearing a dress. I asked her if i could kiss her and she said yes (keep in mind that i don't remember doing any of this). So i kissed this girl and then i guess i tried to kiss her again and she pushed me away and her friends commented on me having a beard. I also yelled something rather rude, not to the girls just in general. Once i reached the van, we took a bunch of people home and i had to pull over and puke a few times (don't remember that either). I finally made it home and spent the next hour puking in the kitchen sink and then cleaned everything up and went to bed (yeah don't remember that either). The next morning and day i puked a lot, i haven't drank since. I however got my new years kiss, i just don't remember it (this could also be a very cruel joke my roommates are playing on me).

TOTAL DRINKS:
1 bottle of wine
1 glass of wine
3 glasses of champagne
3 beers
4 shots
1 mixed drink

I am definitely cutting back on drinking this year, it is a must. Money and health can't keep up. No more time traveling for awhile. Time to be productive

Whatevs

2008-12-18T17:57:00.003-06:00

i have no real direction for this blog, other than i am just bored and felt like writing. Tomorrow i get to work a half day then go to a work Christmas party. I work with some fucking characters, let me tell you. The only thing that really makes me want to go to the party is that it is a free 5 course meal and open bar. I will get shit faced on my bosses dime. I will probably only be working at this job for another 2 and 1/2 months and then i will quit and go on tour. I am trying to decide if it would be best to do the foundry tour followed by a bald eagle tour. That would put me on the road for at least 3 months straight. While that sounds fun, i am not sure i have the money to make it happen. I would also like to finish writing the new Bald Eagle record before we do a big tour on it. It looks like everything is set for 2 dates with Cursive in January (with the possibility for more). Right now music is the only thing keeping me focused, i am so sick of people and the thought of trying to have a relationship with anyone in Columbia makes me want to fucking puke. Welcome to a town full of 23 year old hipster bitches who have fucked every hipster douche bag in town, and are terrified to talk to you because you have a beard and play in bands. Fuck it i don't want to talk to you anyhow.

I am seriously thinking of doing this new years challenge, which would basically be a sober off. If you drink you loose, last man standing (whoever can go the longest without drinking wins). $100 buy in. I would even be down for including soda in this. I think i could kill at this, the only thing that sucks is the mass amount of free beer you get offered on tour, but i say bring it on.

The other day at Taco Bell, some dude in blue sweatpants was talking about how awesome the new Punisher movie is, he said "it is better than that last Batman movie". He was awesome. I also have been told Merry Christmas for the last month and half by this old lady that works at Taco Bell, she also likes to hand out cinnamon flavored peppermints. One day she was talking to, two other old ladies and said "that baby is coming, the water broke and they are scrapping the membrane" not exactly what i want to hear before i eat Taco Bell. Did you know they found a foot inside a brain tumor of a 3 week old baby. GROSS!.

I found out more people actually read this pile of barf than i thought, so maybe i should write something interesting in it.

So here something fun for you. Last Friday i got so drunk i puked 3 times off a porch in east campus. Then me and my friends, all of which were equally drunk decided to drive home and pick up some random dude that was walking. It was about 15 degrees out and he had no coat on. He too was drunk and was trying to find his way home. He had no idea where he was, so we took him home. Let just say he was a good 15 miles from where he needed to be and was headed in the wrong direction. He gladly gave the driver $10. The next night i went to a scarf party in St. Louis (not that is not some weird party where dudes shit on each other). Basically everyone wears a shitty scarf. The party sucked, so me and the Schuh went to our friend Ryan's apartment and watched crappy movies and crashed. I used my coat as a pillow and had blanket that covered only half of my body. The next morning we watched The Ginger Sead Man, starring Gary Busey. It was a little over and hour long and basically Gary Busey dies and comes back to life as a gingerbread man and kills people, you get the idea. What a weekend. Ugh.

a cursive invite

2008-12-11T17:06:00.002-06:00

Today was a good day. I was working on some art for the new Foundry record last night and was up pretty late, so i thought this morning was gonna be rough. I actually woke up feeling pretty good. I got a new phone and with it comes email updates, which means i get emails the second they come in and i can write back on my phone (both awesome and annoying).

Anyhow when i woke up i had a email from the band Cursive personally asking us to play some of their January tour dates. Columbia was a given, but they also wanted us to do one of their last two shows of the tour in Omaha, NE (their hometown). They will be playing both Friday and Saturday night and they wanted Bald Eagle to be apart of one of those shows, plus we are in talks about getting added to anything else on that tour that they would need a band for. Lets just say that felt good.

The Foundry tour is shaping up well also, it looks like we will be gone from Feb 26th until April 18th or so, with a one week break in the middle and a trip to SXSW. SXSW might be interesting as i am trying to get Bald Eagle in as well, so it might mean double duty for a few shows.

I am just sick of being at home and want to get on the road, but i don't want to lose money or my job. I do however feel like the next few road trips will be worth job/money loss.

I have kind of got in the mind set of staying in for the winter and trying to get things accomplished, and to save money. It is cold and boring this time of year in Columbia anyhow, all there is to do is drink, and i can do that at home for cheaper than going out to bars.

Really into a little E.P by a band called Mayola called Everybody. Good stuff.
Writing with Bald Eagle is going well, we are more than half way done with writing the new record, and the songs are getting crazy.

pulling the plug

2008-11-20T16:58:00.003-06:00

For the last 5 and half years i have been in a relationship, at least 3 years of that has been long distance (about 6 hours apart), and about the last year of that 5 and half years has been up and down, the last 3 or 4 months have been without us talking, which pretty much lead me to believe that things ended a long time ago. Last night i pulled the plug on this relationship, while this might be one of the hardest things i have had to do, i felt that it had to be done, that there had to be an official end to it and not just something left up in the air and in question. I certainly have been wondering what my status was for awhile.

Every relationship i have ever been in has ended very badly, to the point of me no longer being able to talk to anyone of my ex-s. I have two that are married (one now divorced), one that has kids, and a few others none of which i can look in the face or stand to be in the same room as. However with this relationship i didn't and don't want that to be the case. This person was my best friend for 5 + years and knows more about me than probably anyone. I can't think of any thing that i have committed to for more than 5 years, so this was not easy. I just felt that between the long distance and us growing up we both grew apart and simply became different people. We both became to involved in our own lives to pay attention to each others and being far apart made that really easy.

So all in all everything went very well and it is good to close a book that has been open for too long, even though it certainly was not fun and hurt a lot to do. I never feel like hurting peoples feelings (though i know i come off like a jerk, i might be the nicest jerk you'll ever meet). I really feel like i can still be friends with this person and continue to have them as part of my life. I just can't commit to a relationship with that person right now and know that it is right. I am depressed and confused and having panic attacks and bad anxiety, but having an answer to everything kind of helped with all of that. The best way i can put it, is that it is like watching some die that you know was going to die for a very long time. You know that is over and that you just have to let it go. I am at peace with it. It's not easy, and i have cried a lot in the last few days. I am not real sure why i am sharing this other than maybe it will explain a few things to the few that read this, and will keep me from having to explain in person. I am just happy that i can walk way and know that i still have one of my best friends by my side.

I'm sorry if i fucked up.

ugh...

2008-11-19T21:16:00.002-06:00

i have had a adventure in reality and it has been both wonderful and awful i am in a blizzard of what the fuck right now. Mixed emotions and lost hopes, things don't get easier as you get older and i am terrified with every decision i make. I just don't think you can bend over backwards for people without breaking your back and being left there to suffer in your own pool of doubt. It just sucks to crush people but at the same time get crushed yourself. I don't want to be the person who doesn't talk, but right now i have nothing good to say. If i do talk it seems to come out wrong. I don't know that i can explain this or that it needs explaining. I feel awful and mean no harm. I need to close a chapter and move on.

ALL THINGS MUST PASS

2008-11-18T16:42:00.002-06:00

It's been forever, who cares. Lot's has happened i have thrown a vegetable tray at someone, i have seen a hat fly off an old mans head flip 3 times and land on a bicyclists head and he was riding by and the bicyclists had no idea, i have played multiple shows, i have drank multiple beers, i have recorded half of a new record, i have voted for a new president, i have put things off, i have got things done, i have seen movies, i have got mad, i have got sad. NONE OF THIS MATTERS.

I just felt like writing today, as there seems to be a lot on my mind. Not sure that i am in the mood to share, but maybe i will start updating more often.

It feels weird when your whole life no one has ever given a shit, and then you think maybe someone does, but hey all things must pass. I won't hold my breath i'll hold my stomach cause it hurts. ANXIETY IS A BITCH. blah

lets go on tour and forget about columbia already.

Microsoft uses a Bald Eagle song.

2008-06-15T22:05:00.001-05:00

So we scored a deal with Microsoft Zune. Basically they are using our song "Those Are Cobras, Man" to promote a set of graphic novels called "The Lost Ones". The graphic novels will be online as well as in print form, i believe there is 5 or 6 total and they come on on June 26th. Right now "Those Are Cobras, Man" is just being used in a behind the scenes video (basically the making of The Lost Ones), but will later be used to go along with one of the graphic novels. We couldn't be happier. Thanks Microsoft.The video can be seen at www. zune-arts. net/lost

Here is the official word on it:
Zune Arts to Preview Upcoming Graphic Novel Written by Steve NilesSix video podcasts provide a behind-the-scenes look at the making of The Lost OnesREDMOND, WA — June 11, 2008 — In anticipation of the upcoming Zune Arts graphic novel The Lost Ones, six behind-the-scenes video podcasts are being released today on Zune Marketplace and Zune-arts. net.

The videos chronicle the creative collaboration between 30 Days of Night author Steve Niles and the novel's four graphic artists—Dr. Revolt, Gary Panter, Kime Buzzelli, and Morning Breath.Featuring music from Bald Eagle's track "Those are Cobras, Man," these exclusive podcasts take viewers into the world of each artist, giving insight into their background, process, style and approach to this unique collaborative project. Writer Steve Niles also shares his journey of writing the novel and comments on his experience in collaborating with the other artists.The Lost Ones tells the story of Duncan, Roxy, Rasheed and Cynthia, who leave their Earth and get swept up in an epic intergalactic adventure. What starts out as a harmless day of extreme planet jumping turns into a mind-blowing, white-knuckle race for their lives to get back home.

The Zune Arts program brings the best creative minds together to collaborate on inspiring works of art. With The Lost Ones, Zune Arts expands beyond videos and posters and makes it first foray into the graphic novel format.Collector's and paperback editions of The Lost Ones will be available for free in June 2008 at select comic book stores nationwide.To watch the behind-the-scenes videos, visit www. zune-arts. net/lost

About Zune Arts:
Zune Arts is a program that offers emerging and established artists a unique collaboration opportunity and platform to share their work with a broader audience. At the heart of Zune Arts are ideas about friendship, sharing, connecting and discovery that serve as both a guide for artists' work and an ethic for the art that’s produced through this program.

swimming movies in the closet i built before the shit storm

2008-06-15T21:41:00.003-05:00

Almost every Friday last Summer Erik Moore and I went swimming together. So I started bugging Erik about it a few weeks ago, as i wanted to start the trend again this year. So Friday I worked all day and it rained and i was little bummed out that we wouldn't get to go swimming, but by the time i got off work it had stopped raining but was still overcast pretty badly. I called Erik to see if he was down for still going and he was, he also had Stephen with him. I went home and got my swim trunk and picked Stephen and Erik up, and off we went to the pool. We got there and i was afraid the pool was closed because no one was there, they were open but looked like they were gonna pack it up and go home any minute. That was until we showed up and they had to stay open, we paid our $3.50 (which is higher than last year) and went in. We had heard that the built a water slide and we were all pretty excited about that, but when we got inside it was still being worked on and was non-functioning. We get in the pool and we are the only 3 people there, besides the 10 or so lifeguards (4 on duty 6 walking around) and a cop. The lifeguards looked pissed because we were there and they had to stay open, we even heard a few of them ask each other if they were staying open and then say well i guess we have to and then they would look down at us. So we made it our mission to stay as long as we could so they couldn't leave and we just sat in the pool and jumped off the diving board all the while the guard just starred us down. Finally after about two hours we had had enough so we decided to leave. Right as we were walking to the gate 5 other kids showed up to make the guard have to stay even longer. We were very happy that someone had taken our place. Later that night i went to a bbq at my friend Cody's house it was his fake birthday party, we ate lots and drank summer shandy's (beer with lemonade).

Saturday i slept in and then worked on the house. I took a nap and woke up bored so i went to go see The Happening, it was awful. The acting was so bad and story just kind of sucked. The previews for this looked kind of cool but it was a let down. I am not going to go into details as i hate to review things but do yourself a favor and don't go see it. It is equally as bad as the new Indiana Jones. As i was leaving the movie theatre i got a call and was asked if i wanted to see The Incredible Hulk in a few hours, i really had to think about it as i had just came from a movie. I decide there was nothing else to do so i would do it. I went home and ate and sat for a hour then went back to the same movie theatre and watched The Incredible Hulk. I was a little weary going into the movie as the previews looked shitty especially the CGI. What got me to go was the preview i saw two days earlier that showed Tony Stark (Iron Man/Robert Downy Jr.) making a cameo. Turns out the movie wasn't too bad, the writing was actually good and the story line was great. Edward Norton actually did a good job. The problem was the CGI, they just can't make The Incredible Hulk look real. Every time he turned up on the screen he looked like a cartoon set in a real world. I will say this movie was leaps and bounds better than the one that came out 4 or 5 years ago. The Tony Stark part was sweet as well, and i heard that you were supposed to be able to see Captain America in the background somewhere. I later found out the cut that scene from the movie, because it was too scary for kids. The scene was Bruce Banner finally giving up because he couldn't find a cure and he goes to the Arctic to kill himself and meets Captain America. It will be in the DVD as well as 70 minutes of extra footage. Did you know that Captain Americas shield is somewhere in the Iron Man movie?

Sunday- I built a closet and went to band practice. I cam home to something shitty. The end.

2008-06-04T22:18:00.002-05:00

I wrote a post about my dissapointment in people. I took it down for the time being. It was very mean. I am not happy with things. I am not happy with people.

UPDATERS

2008-06-01T13:44:00.003-05:00

It's been a minute or two since i posted something on here, so here we go with a little update on things. Well my big computer crashed on me and I'm not sure what the problem is, i haven't had time or money to try to figure it out yet. So i am stuck with the laptop for awhile which is OK but i hate typing on this thing. Last weekend was a 3 day one because of memorial day, it lead to a few bbqs, some Wii bowling, drinking at Ragtag, Flatbranch parties, and the viewing of the new Indiana Jones movie (which sucked). George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg ruined this movie for me, the script was bad, and so was the CGI. WHATEVER, moving on. I also saw Prince Caspian somewhere in my time off from blogging, and i actually like that. I am kind of fascinated by all the hidden religious message in the Chronicles of Narnia, and how they try to brainwash children. I read these books growing up, and watched all the BBC versions of the movies. So i am pretty into the new ones as well. They are a little childish (but they are children's books after all), however the fight scenes are rad, are up there with Lord of The Rings and Star Wars.

I own a house with my brother, and he has decided to move to Austin, TX, so in a few weeks it will be all mine (well kind of). So i have spent the last week or so, and will spend another month or so fixing things up, painting, buying new things etc. to get the house up to par. Basically just giving it the changes that it needs. Last weekend my parents and i went shopping for furniture (this was a first for me) all my furniture has always been hand me downs, or stuff i got from garage sales or goodwill, or found in the garbage. It has worked thus far, but having nice matching furniture is sweet too. My parents decided to be very generous and buy me a new living room set, a new bed, and new kitchen table, as well as a bunch of other shit for my house. I will probably be buying the new tv and Wii. So i am set for now and have been working on putting all that together and organizing things, painting, and just plain going nuts with the house work. It is coming together very nicely. I am aiming to have things done around the 4th of July and maybe have a bbq house warming party.

I screen printed some Prozac Memory (remember that band anyone?) shirts the other day, they turned out great. Friday i woke up feeling awful and puked 3 times before going to work. I went to work and had puked another 3 times before 9am, then 2 more by 11am. I asked to go home bu my boss wanted me to print 900 shirts (3 colors) before i left. I asked if there was something smaller i could do, and he found me something. The power went out and fucked things up, and it was around 90 degrees in the shop. I was getting dizzy and dehydrated. I finished my work and went home i slept from 11:30 am on Friday until 8am on Saturday. I woke up feeling better, not sure what the fuck i had. I worked on the house a bit and then met up with some people who could get me into the Death Cab For Cutie show. I used to love Death Cab, but kind of have grown past them, but i figured if it was free it would be worth going too. It was going to be outside but it was pouring down rain (it ended up still being outside). So we went to Addisons for dinner and then went to the show, there was a line that went around the block, tickets were $25 and there was a 2500 people limit for the show (i think it sold out). I saw kids that were 10 and adults in their 60's all singing along to Death Cabs hits. It was very weird. Not a bad show, with Rogue Wave opening things up, it was also very pleasant to be outside and the rain had cooled things off. I was still feeling the effects of being sick from the day before so i took it easy and was even home before 1am. My brother was having a going away party up the street at Eastside with 3 metal bands, i didn't go.

Other news: My good friend Dave Denman moved to Orange, California this week. I will miss Dave and his awesome dog Max a lot. Hopefully i can plan a trip out there sometime and visit. Bald Eagle got a song (Those Are Cobras, Man) picked up by Microsoft Zune, to be used for Internet advertising and viral campaign or something. Anyhow it is a big licensing deal and we will see some money from it. Tomorrow is my moms birthday, happy birthday mom. That's all for now.

4 more

2008-05-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

The Boy With No Name
Not Jesus or Jeremy Freeze, Just some dude.
Maggie G. hiding
Yoko

The weekend that i hung out with the NFL

2008-05-13T20:14:00.004-05:00

Last weekend i went to the movies to see Iron Man (no link required, you either know or don't). Anyhow i decided to go with my friend Cody that i used to work with and his roommate Stephan (i think that was his name). Before the movie we went to Cody's apartment and played Super Smash Brothers, and some sort of WWF wrestling game on the Nintendo Wii. It was sweet and i think i want a Wii. We head off to the two and half hour movie, and sit through the credits to see a secret scene featuring Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Furry. I thought the movie was great, i hadn't read too many Iron Man comics as a kid, or as an adult for that matter, but i am familiar with the character and most of his background. I feel like they did a pretty good job of portraying him in this Hollywood movie. The ending did kind of pissed me off and Cody made a good point about it. I would see this movie again and look forward to a sequel. There were lots of great previews before hand. The new Indiana Jones, Prince Caspian, Incredible Hulk, probably a few others.

After the movie i decided that i was up for an adventure. I had received a phone call from my friend Chris telling me that Martin Rucker was having a private party at Tonic for his birthday. This party was invite only and Chris had been invited and told he could bring whomever he wanted, i was on the list. I called Chris and was informed i had 15 minutes to meet up with him, i needed to run home and change clothes, as this was a fancy clothes place and i wasn't looking fancy. I booked it, showered, changed and was back downtown in about 18 minutes. I meet up with Johnathan and drank a quick beer at Sparky's Ice cream and then we were off to Tonic to meet everyone. Inside was a very odd setting off professional NFL players (i think 7 or 8 total), college football players, their girlfriends, some of the strongest looking dudes i have ever seen, $100 bottles of champagne being passed around, about 10 people i knew (all friends of Chris's), and a very out of place me. The night was crazy and was only made comfortable by mass amounts of drinking. I was glad i had a few friends there, and that i could brag about a crazy night of partying with NFL players, and got to see Chase Daniel be completely sleazy, making out with girls left and right, dancing very naughty, etc, etc.

The night ended with me fitting 3 other people in my car and taking them to Chris's house, as we pulled in the drive way, one of them stuck his head out my door and vomited all over the place. Chris wanted to go to the casino in Booneville. I wanted to go home. So i went home to sleep off the night.

The next morning Cedric (Chris's roommate) calls me to see how he got home. He was one of the 3 i drove home. He wanted to make sure he didn't puke in my car. He informed me he woke up in all of his clothes, with his shoes on and a space heater running, it was around 100 degrees in his room. He waned to go get some food so i drive over and pick Chris and him up and off to Apple bee's we go. After stuffing our faces and possibly feeling worse than i did before i got there, we all went back home. I went back to sleep, they got ready for work.

That night i went to Eastside Tavern, it was Big Pants birthday show and Jarret was going to be bar tending. It was going to be like the old days of Eastside. I hadn't spent much time there in the last 7 months or so, we haven't played there in probably a year. We were asked to play this show and decided not to. Haii Usagi was playing and they are great, Pharos was also going to play and i had heard good things about them. When i saw them i didn't hear good things. I won't go into what i think was right or wrong about this band, just not my thing i guess. Jarret didn't really end up bar tending until late in the night, Pants wasn't there for most of his own party, one of the two bands wasn't that great. Pants also announced that night that he eloped early in the day, and that this wasn't just a birthday party, but a party for that as well. I think it left a lot of people shocked. I went home after being invited to a few parties. I wasn't feeling it.

Sunday i slept in and knew that i would be eating dinner at my moms house for mothers day. I did a little bit of art, went to moms for dinner, and then went to band practice. That was pretty much it for Sunday. I was not looking forward to Monday and going back to work.

The Great Mistake

2008-05-13T19:50:00.003-05:00

Today at work i printed approximately 1750 shirts, 152 of those shirts were printed wrong. As i was on shirt 102 or so, the guy next to me says,"this word looks weird", i said, "it looks weird because you just keep seeing it over and over again". He said, "no, i think it is spelled wrong". So i stopped. After looking at the word OFFICAL on the shirt and immediately knowing that it should be spelled O-F-F-I-C-I-A-L i decided if i came that far i must finish before saying something. After all this wasn't designed by me, it had slipped through the art department and was approved by a customer, then the screens themselves were burned by my manager (at 4:30 am, trust me i heard all about how he did them first thing in the morning) I couldn't break his heart, and let him know that he had fucked up. It also had been touched up by another person, set up by me, and proofed by yet another person. Then it was printed over 100 times before someone noticed, and yet another person at the end of the dryer that the shirts come out of didn't notice either, nor did the artist who created it, that was standing next to her talking, or the owner of the company who looked at a few and said these look great. So as the last shirt went on the press i simply said "hey i have a question for you, is that how you spell official"? The response was um um um no it's not. So who gets yelled at for this mistake that passed so many before him? Yes, me of course, did i mention that the shirts had already had the fronts printed on them as well. My manager suggested spiffing (an act of spraying a image with a very strong chemical that removes ink from clothing, very time consuming) all of the shirts. Instead we will be re-printing these shirts later in the week. My punishment, my manager being an asshole all day. Remember he burnt the screens first thing in the morning and would have been the first to see the image, remember he didn't graduate high school, is a redneck, racist, claims to be christian, has worked the same job for 18 years, yet knows less than most of the people who work there. So I present to you the great mistake, it's OFFICAL.

Friend Sketches

2008-05-10T15:26:00.003-05:00

Dave Denman

Ryan Davis

These are harder to do, maybe i will do more in the future.

caribou pictures

2008-05-08T22:21:00.002-05:00

found these and thought i would share. one more video might be on the way, and then we are done with caribou for awhile

Burger Kingdom

2008-05-08T19:45:00.006-05:00

Burger King now has this HOLY SHIT, and Columbia might soon have a band called Burger Kingdom. A burger with mashed potatoes, what will they think of next. Basically if you can make it into a burger someone will eat it. I was seriously kind of grossed out by this.

The week went like this:

Monday- work, home for a few hours, met up with everyone at Billy's and headed out to Nina's wedding at the winery in Rocheport. The wedding was nice and short, and i think Nina achieved all of her goals. After the wedding, there was a gathering and eating of appetizers and drinking of sangria. A little talking with mostly Columbia people (most were musicians), then inside for dinner, drinks, and cake. Then a dance party (80's themed) reception in the basement of the winery. We left early and caught the rest of the Cardinals game on the radio. My stomach hurt from 8 glasses of sangria and cake with too much sugar. Over all a good night and wedding. Congrats Nina and Pat.

Tuesday- work, it was a little rough due to Monday night. After work a nap, then a meeting with what looks like is the new lineup (touring format) of The Foundry Field Recordings. I feel pretty comfortable with this and i am getting excited to get things rolling. Oh by the way Flat Branch has added the shrimp pesto pizza to the menu, it's my new favorite.

Wednesday- work, and home. That was about it, i worked a little more on my "sketches" project and finally posted a few.

Thursday- work, and home. Today was a bad day at work. I hate my job, it makes me sad.

Friday- work, and then I'm not sure. Possibly going to see Iron Man, even if i have to go by myself.

Sketches Part 2

2008-05-07T22:24:00.002-05:00

Bill Cosby
Larry Bird
Ringo Star
Unknown Subject Bill Paxton

Justice 1/2.2 Seth Rogen
Bat For Lashes

Sketches

2008-05-07T22:14:00.003-05:00

Tilly and The Wall
Zach Galifianakis
Justice 1/2

Tegan and Sara Michael Stipe

Caribou who?

2008-05-02T15:43:00.007-05:00

Last night a band called Caribou from Canada were playing in St. Louis, Fuck Buttons. I had never heard either band before. The catch of the night was, that my good friend Ahmed Gallab was filling in playing drums with Caribou. Ahmed plays in a band called Sinkane, which is a new Emergency Umbrella records band and he really is the brainchild behind it all. Sinkane had problems with their tour van and ended up canceling a few months of touring, while Ahmed was trying to figure out a plan or alternative means for the next few months, he received a email from Caribou stating that their drummer had broken his arm and they were in need of a replace drummer. Ahmed jump right on it and now has been touring with them for close to a month in the states and was headed to Europe in a few days. I have known Ahmed for a few years now, as he used to play in a band called Sweetheart that Bald Eagle played with many times and he became my go to guy for shows in Ohio. He have hung out many times, stayed at each others houses while on the road, and now are label mates (again in sorts, but that's a different story). Anyhow Ahmed has been very lucky to be a part of the Caribou tour and will also be joining Of Montreal on a upcoming tour, again playing drums. Then it will be back to focusing on Sinkane. So while i h ad never heard Caribou i felt like it was a good chance to see one of my friends i hadn't seen in a while.

The day began with me getting up at 6am and going to work until around 3pm. After a shower and change of clothes, i met up with Billy, Justin, and Zach and off to St. Louis we went. We got there early in hopes to go out to eat with Ahmed, but Caribou was running a little late and when they arrived they needed to do a sound check. We waited out and went for a walk and got a drink at a nearby bar. Back to the venue, for Caribou's sound check and to meet our friend Ryan who lives in St. Louis. We gab Ahmed and load six people into the van and we are off to eat. After food happenings, we head back to the club and catch The Fuck Buttons, I was not impressed by their brand of noise/feedback that was coming from two people essentially playing laptops set on a table. I was happy when they stopped and hoped to god that Caribou was not like them. Soon Caribou took the stage and blew my expectations out of the water. They were great, and i am not sure if it was the fact that my friend was playing drums for them, but i think they would have been great anyways, he just added to it. Ahmed has always been good at drums, but i was seriously blown away by the shit he was doing, after what seemed like a hour and half of straight performing and drumming they were done. We said our goodbyes and headed back to Columbia, for a night of little sleep and a early morning of work at 6am.

I tried my best to take some pictures and video of Caribou, from the show. The pictures are so/so, but the videos turned out nicely. So here are a few, i have 4 total but only 3 will load, as the 4th is rather long and i will see if i can figure something out for a later post, as it is easily the best sound of the 4 and shot kind of cool as well. Anyhow enjoy the sweetness of Caribou and more importantly the drumming of Ahmed.

1. Short and sweet, 32 seconds of awesomeness (sound quality is kind of bad on this one)

2. A few minutes long and in color (sound is bad on this one as well)

3. Longer and better sound quality

OCD

2008-04-30T22:07:00.004-05:00

I have found that i am struggling to find out what i want this blog to be about. Should i make it a music blog and talk about the shows i go to, the records i buy, new bands i have discovered? I feel like there is too many music blogs and i hate other peoples views on music. There is this kid i work with and every time a new band pops up on my ipod he is like, hey is that (insert band name here), and i am like yeah it is. It is annoying it is like you are trying to please these people all day at work? I am simply tyring not to loose my mind, and sit in silence all day. In my old position at work i could listen to headphones and not worry about this problem. I can't now because i work closely with two other people at all times and communication is a must, so music plays in the background and not through my headphones. While it is nice to connect with people on music and especially in a work environment where most people don't listen to the same type as music as i do, i also find it extremely annoying to share my music with others and constantly be critiqued by this guy. So strict music blog, i don't think so.

Maybe a food blog, where i write about about what i ate or the places i ate at. The effects of food, new food ideas. I have this one where i make nachos out of Doritos. It is sweet, you take your favorite kind of Doritos (there are so many) and you make nachos out of them. Or the many ways you can make a frozen pizza into a masterpiece with a few simple ingredients. I just think food would get boring to read about.

So maybe a imaginary blog, where i write about all these crazy things and people think that i have the most interesting life or a really fucked up one. It would be like writing a book, but in blog form where you make up all these characters and events and people would be really interested in finding out the new adventures of these people they think are real. It would be my little joke to the world.

Is that fucked up or what? I think about doing things like that all the time. I had a idea for making this fake band called the disadvantage featuring 4 guys from Columbia, Missouri. 4 of the most socially awkward people i could think of, and making them a myspace page and putting up fake music and possibly booking a tour for them. Just to see how far i could take it and how much of a buzz i could get going about a band that didn't even exist. They would get this reputation of being dicks because they never showed up for shows and always had to cancel. This would be a major time waster, but it is the type of thing i think of when i get bored. The other one i have is setting up an entire game of Risk, with all the armies and playing by myself. This would take forever and eventually you would have to decide what team you wanted to win, but you could also totally make it dependant on the roll of the dice. THAT IS FUCKED UP, that is crazy no one would ever do that, it would be boring as shit, yet i seriously have considered doing this on numerous occasions. I have a ton more honestly, that go anywhere from alphabetizing my records and Cd's for organizational purposes, to actually taking stock on my music collection and typing them all into some sort of data base. I easily have close to 3000 Cd's and 100's of records. This would take forever. I fear that when my roommate moves out in June and i have a month and half of alone time before new roommates move in, that i might go crazy. I have worked out many ways that i want to change the layout of my house in my head and it will all go into effect as soon as he moves out. This is why blogging freaks me out, because i often feel like i am writing about nothing, that i should have a total purpose for each post or a subject matter that is specific to this blog. I guess in the end the subject matter is me and this is my blog so that is what i am going for. I could write about more personal issues but i don't think i need everyone to see and read my dirty laundry. I have no idea how many people read this (if any at all) if i have regulars or not, and i am not sure that i care. It is simply something to do, and a place to vent and get things out, even if they are a little scattered brained sometimes.

I would like to start posting more art and photos and writing about those, until then i will keep the randomness coming. Hopefully someone enjoys it.

Cheese and Trademarks

2008-04-30T21:28:00.005-05:00

I ate a grilled cheese with spinach tonight, and 10 minutes later i felt awful (not sure why). As i get older i think that milk and cheese and most lactose products seem to fuck with me and make me feel sick after eating them. I love cheese, like seriously love cheese so this is kind of a shitty situation. I don't drink much milk, i am found of the vanilla rice dream. Anyhow when i get broke i find myself eating shitty and i would really like that to stop, i ate pizza like 4 days in a row and while i love pizza i was really grossed out by day 4. I even ate nachos for breakfast last weekend, ugh.

next topic-
Last night i looked into getting a trademark for the band name Bald Eagle. We have been using the name since 2003 and performing under it since 2004. The reason behind this comes from a DJ in Chicago who goes by the same name, not DJ Bald Eagle, but simply Bald Eagle (like us). DJ BE is a guy by the name of Chris Baronner who used to play in a band called Ethel Meserve. The weird part of all of this is that my old band Amputee Set played many shows with Ethel Meserve and we where pretty good friends with Chris. When i lived in Milwaukee i would frequent Chicago and Chris would get me into shows he booked at The Metro. Anyhow a few years a go we started getting emails and phone calls from our friends in Chicago saying hey why didn't you tell us you guys were playing up here, and we would respond we aren't. We found out that someone else was using our name. Chris used to go by DJ CB (CB-Chris Baronner). I sent a very nice email to Chris explaining the confusion of the names and asked if he could simply go by DJ Bald Eagle to stop any further problems and confusion. He responded back that he believed that there was enough room in this little world for 2 Bald Eagle's and that he never played out of Chicago so it shouldn't be a big deal. The problem is, with his booking at The Metro and being tight within the Chicago scene he has booked himself on many bigger shows, doing DJ sets before or after. Most shows are billed as Bald Eagle not DJ Bald Eagle (thought sometimes the DJ is included). Well recently Lollapalooza leaked their lineup for the 2008 festival and Bald Eagle was listed as a act that was to perform. Bald Eagle (us) got a ton of messages and myspace hits and congratulations. There was even a link on Lollapalooza's web page that would lead you to a splash page and screen shot of our myspace page, a picture of our guitar player, and links to some of our mp3's. The fucked up thing was we knew nothing about, and never applied to Lollapalooza or had any plans of playing it. It turns out it was a major fuck up by the Lolla staff and they meant for it to be Bald Eagle the DJ, not us. Well this lead to many phone calls from our record label to Lollapallooza trying to get to the bottom of everything. The last draw for me was a email about 4 or 5 days ago from another Lolla staff member (publicist, PR, whatever) giving us the low down on the fest and what she needed from us and what they were going to provide us with, basic details given to the performers. WE ARE NOT PLAYING THIS FEST. It is a major confusion and fuck up, though it would be funny to just show up and say hey here we are, we are Bald Eagle you sent us shit and said that we were supposed to play, so here we are. The fact of the matter is that some of them know we aren't playing and they messed up, but apparently not all of them got the message. SO SO SO, back to trade marking. I decided to get our band name trademarked, then we will meet with our lawyer and take the proper matters to get the other Bald Eagle to stop using our name. Maybe a little extreme, but hopefully you can see my point. The thing is we have worked under that name for almost 5 years, and we have multiple records out under that name, while this guy spins and remixes other peoples work. To me there is no reason for us not to fight it and end the confusion and take what i feel is rightfully ours.

In the end it cost me close to $900, so i guess we better not break up for a while. Crazy huh?

on being a musician

2008-04-24T18:29:00.006-05:00

I just was just interviewed on the stigma of musicians, i never had really thought that much about that topic before. The interview was for a college class project, some sort of final project worth 70% of these peoples grade. It wasn't all about musicians, it was the stigma of ex-cons, policemen, and musicians and how they relate to each other. I never really thought of myself being looked down at or up at for that matter, that i had reputation to keep. I have felt judged by people before, especially in Columbia where people sometimes think of you as being this unapproachable asshole that they can't talk to. The truth of the matter is i think most musicians are shy, or have some sort of social anxiety disorder. I know i do for sure, i am terrified of most people, i hate social interactions and hate interviews. I feel like i gave some OK answers to this persons questions, but the more i think about things and start to write this blog i feel like i could have answered a little better. I think of the 3 (ex-cons, police, and musicians) that musicians have the least stigma about them. I think ex-cons have it rough, how finding a job must be hard. You can't really lie about that, musicians can get jobs. People just don't like you quiting to go on tour, but you don't have to tell them you are a musician to get a job. I think the hardest part of being a musician is the personal aspects of it. You never have money, you are always broke or trying to save for that next tour, instrument, recording, buying a van, making merch, etc. It is very hard to have a relationship or find that person who is going to put up with all the bullshit of dating musician. Most girls/boys would be jealous of a touring musician because you are away from your loved one and meting new people every night so the potential of meeting someone and hooking up on the road is there. So money and relationships are hard, so is finding a steady job that will let you tour. As i was sitting doing this interview i thought if i had to do this all again, if i was given another chance would i do it. Go back to being 12 and never buy a guitar, never start a band, and never play music (at least not in the sense of how i do it now). I have been playing music since i was 12, in bands since i was 14, touring/recording since i was 16 and though it has gotten better over the years and i feel like each band i do is better and better and more well received and is more of a success, i just don't know that i would do it all again. Granted i could quit at any time and do whatever, it's not like i am 60 and have nothing else in my life. However i am approaching 30 and it gets a little scary to not have a steady job, because you might have to quit to go on tour, and to not always have money, and to worry about having a girlfriend. Being a musician is weird because you basically know that you are going to fail, hardly anyone becomes famous, or can make enough money to support themselves let alone a family. I know there are musicians that do and are very happy, but when you think of how many bands there are and how few of them get to any level of success it is pretty scary. I know that i am lucky to be in a band that tours (though i wish we did more), that has a record label that will pay to put our music out, and has people that like or music and shows. Yet i feel like a failure because i know that more than likely i will never be successful at it, that i will never make enough money doing this as i could working a "real" job. The other end of that though is would i be happy working a real job? I can't imagine myself going into the same place 5 days a week for the next 40 years. I think that would be awful, i don't know how people do that to be honest. I realize it is nice to have that consistency and have money and not have to worry about things, but i couldn't go to work, go home, and do it all over again the next day for 40 years. I realize it is not that extreme, and lots of people love their jobs and the field they are in. I just know that i hate going to work as is and have no interest in working at the place i am at for even another 4 years. i love playing music and traveling and yes it takes it toll on you. I have met a lot of wonderful people (some of my best friends) through music and have traveled to nearly 40 states and to Canada and had chances to go to Europe, all through playing music. I wouldn't change any of that for the world, but when faced with the question of would i do it all again if i knew that at 28 i would be in a band that was probably never going to be a huge success and that i knew that i would be in the state that i am in now, broke most of the time, questioning a relationship, hating my job, depending on 3 other people for the amount of work our band does. I am pretty sure i wouldn't do it again, this is not a life of luxury by any means. I feel very much like a child who has no idea what path they want to take and it is fucking scary. It is hard to be in a band with people and you know everyone else has a life and jobs and relationships, but you want everyone on the same page. It works for some bands. Some bands give up everything and the band is their world and nothing will get in the way. By no means am i asking for that, everyone deserves their own life, but it becomes very hard to have to depend on 3 other people for your bands success. One wants to tour more than someone else, one wants to stay home more, one wants to play new songs, one wants to play old songs, one thinks this song sucks, one wants to play this show, one doesn't. Conflicting points of view. It has taken years of playing with people to weed out the good and bad and come up with a band of people that i feel comfortable with, yet also respect as musicians. I know i found that in my band, i am more happy than i ever have been playing with these people, but not on all levels all the time. I definitely feel like i want more, and that i am willing to give up a lot for the success (or potential success) of our band. It is hard to ask and expect everyone to be on the same level though, and feel like if we do break up that will be the reason why. Because one person wanted to do more, or one person couldn't do as much. That gets harder with age, and is something i think about a lot because what if i want a real job, or want to settle down or have kids. That was one of my stigmas i brought up, is that people assume that if you are musician and get married, or have kids that you are fucked (at least this is thought by a lot of other musicians) that basically you broke up the band that you can't go on because all you time and money will go towards your family. While this does break up a lot of bands i'm sure (it broke up one i was in), i do feel like you could still be in a band and be successful with a wife and kids. Tons of people do it, but most of them are probably successful before hand. While I'm not sure if i would do it again, i also have no idea what else i would have done. I love art and think i am pretty good at it, as a kid i wanted to be a chef, so maybe one of those. I was never good at sports, or really good at any subjects so that ruled a lot of things out. i regret not going to college sometimes, but i also look at almost all of my friends and family who have degrees and they either aren't using them, don't work in that field at all, or are making about as much money as i am, but also having to pay a ton of loans off. I'm not sure where i am going with any of this, my mind just wonders sometimes, the end result is to be happy. It is not all about money (though money helps) it is about doing what you love and being happy doing it. I am not always happy being a musician, but i think more times than not i am happy being one. i guess form a stigma point of view, people who think musicians have it made are wrong. Yeah it is great if you are the beatles, the rolling stones, or radiohead and have complete control over your music and make a ton of money from doing what you love. I am sure they all have their own share of problems too. Drugs, fame, people wanting that money, no private life, etc. So being a musician- good or bad? i am not sure, all i can say is, if i am going to continue to do this i need to make sure that i am happy doing it. I need to work for that, again a lot of that depends on other people and putting yourself in a position where you are going to be happy. I might start playing as a touring bass player for the foundry field recordings, and in a way that to me seems like a better position for me as a musician one that i could be happier in. I love playing with my dudes don't get me wrong, but touring with someone else and not having to worry so much about everything. Plus i get along with Billy and i think it would be fun to do and i enjoy the songs as well. I think i am just looking for people to play with that are on the same page, and while bald eagle provides that for the most part, it isn't 100% there all the time. It might be impossible to every find that, and i know i am not the easiest person to work with all the time. i am not sure what else i can write on this as i feel like i am going in circles with my point, so i guess i will end this. By the way if you would like to give my band a million dollars to play a show we will gladly do it, and then i can retire and not have to worry about anything and make really weird music with whoever the fuck i want to. Kids don't become a musician, there are too many bands and most of them suck and you will probably suck and be broke. You should go to school, get a real job, get married to a hot chick and have kids then come to my show and buy my records and think that i am cool but realize that you are mores successful than i will ever be.

2008-04-23T21:06:00.002-05:00

Dear Cardinals,
What the shit are you doing? Every game you look good and then come the 7th inning or so you fuck up and lose. Actually i know nothing about baseball, but for some reason i have actually watched almost every cardinals game this year. I guess they weren't supposed to be that great this year, and they are doing pretty well (or better than expected). They just need to stay consistent and stop fucking up in the later innings.

Anyhow my body feels like it has been hit by a train, i am super sore from printing an average of 1500 canvas bags a day for the last week at work. This does a lot for your back, feet, and arms. By a lot i mean it makes all of them hurt and makes you want to die.

this guy is kind of my new hero and i wonder why he is not making a million dollars or playing in a band. Ladies and gentlemen Mr. Ronald Jenkees (there are a lot more on youtube)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoFurLevE28

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maxWVCW-Lqs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maxWVCW-Lqs

2008-04-20T11:35:00.002-05:00

It is much earlier than i thought, and i can't believe that i up and blogging after staying out to nearly 5am and consuming large amounts of alcohol. I thought i would be wiped out all day. Instead i am up and listening to Pink Floyd's -MEDDLE. I had a pretty good weekend, Friday night started with friends watching the Cardinals game and eating shitty fried food in a college themed bar, then we went to see Minus The Bear play at The Blue Note. I was a little sad the Portugal The Man had to cancel, i had heard good things about them and was looking forward to the show. I was also able to catch up with a few people i hadn't seen in a while. One of my favorite people, Mike Quinn, who i went to high school with was at the show. Mike plays in a band called The Confident Years. It is always nice to talk shop with him and see how he is getting along. He told me that him and his wife just had a second child. I also caught up with a old band mate of mine, Morgan Burnham, it is always great to see him. We were very close for about 5 years, but after playing music together i hardly ever see him. So after the show and many drinks later we find ourselves at Ragtag, for more drinks, and cookies. That i may have gotten in trouble for taking, i found out that dipping a cookie in your beer (like you would do with milk), isn't really that bad. Ok so the night is still young, i guess we go to a party. and then to IHOP. At this point i can't stay awake, speak straight, etc. I am done. We sleep it off and get ready for Saturday.

I woke up and decided i didn't want to wear pants for the entire day, (i failed, and it was much colder out than i thought). After some lounging around and a awkward moment of someones mom walking in on 3 dudes laying around in there boxer briefs, we decide we are on a mission to find pizza. 3 failed attempts: 1. Mojo's Pizza- this is a new place in town we decide to try out, after walking in and seeing the shitty pizza baking in heat lamps and the $20 tag for a large, we turn around and say no thanks. 2. Shakespeare's Pizza- my favorite, this should be a perfect cure for the hangover, however it is packed and we are looking for quick eats here, so no that one too. 3. Pizza Hut- hey they have a buffet right, it will be cheap, quick, and lots of food. They don't have a buffet on the weekend, so no to that one too. 4th and final we try a new place Arris (i think that is what is called) Pizza. Very nice place a little out of place in a shopping center. Has a nice bar setup, with flat screens and greek theme going on. Pizza is fairly priced and they have a ton of options besides pizza as well. We go for that and watch the Cardinals loose in the process. Time for a power nap, you know we had only been up for probably 3 hours. We sleep the pizza off and meet up again, this time the mission is to see a movie. We pick Forgetting Sarah Marshall, it turned out to be great, very funny and i would definitely see it again. After the movie we head to Flat Branch for more drinking (just what i need, no not really at all). We eat for fried food and drink and then head to a small party to drink more. I think my body needs cleansed after this weekend. My diet of fried foods, cheese, and beer should have me hurting today. So after hanging out at the party the idea comes up to go to a strip club (it is 3am) we are 2 minutes away and have free passes, we go. A hour of naked women, 3 of which sat on my lap and tried to get me to pay them for more lap sitting (i denied everyone of them, even the girl who said, "you can play with my huge tits", and then showed them to me). I left having not spent a single dollar in there. It is now after 4am and it is time to go home and sleep the night off.

Welcome to Sunday morning, which is where we are now, lets see what today brings. Hopefully no beer or pizza. The sun is out and i think we are looking at a day in the 70's. My Pink Floyd record is over so i guess it is time to get on with the day, or go back to bed. We will see...

in 1000's

2008-04-20T11:11:00.002-05:00

I work at a screen printing shop, which to say the least is a interesting place to work. It is a neat trade to learn and i could definitely tell you the ins and outs of screen printing. However, i don't think we are the smartest shop on the block (though my millionaire boss assures me, "that we can't be touched and we do more and better work than any shop in Missouri") I would believe we do more work, but that is because my boss takes on ridiculous jobs with impossible goals set behind them.

His latest money making plan is to accommodate these two women who have a plan of making canvas grocery bags. Great idea in theory, these two women want 9 different designs (that have been finely tweaked many many times). Of these 9 designs they want 1000 of each design printed on canvas bags (for a total of 9000). My boss thought we could print 2000 a day a knock these out very quickly. Besides the headache of doing the artwork, there was also a issue with the color of ink for each design (it had to be perfect, and they wanted many samples before the final product was made). So right there you are looking at way more work than expected, the ink had to mixed and matched very specifically to PMS numbers. I must also mention the canvas bags aren't really bags they are large canvas pieces that will have to be taken to another out source and sewn into bags, adding the nylon straps. Yet another large process, and pain in the ass.

So why i am writing about this? Well my job as a printer is to print the 9000 bags, the goal of 2000 a day was not met. I could only do 1000 a day, as the set up for these takes a very long time. I can't really explain the details, with out everyone having some knowledge of screen printing and the equipment we use, but you are looking at around 1 hour set time for each design. That i have to re-setup after each 1000 is printed. Also we are talking 1000's of threads from these canvas bags that get in the design and have to be pulled out and touched up, and running out of ink every couple 100 prints. This also takes a 3 man team to print and each bag must be perfectly centered so when the poor saps that have to sew these things won't mess up the design. All of this for a reusable bag. We are talking many hours of work, i understand these are reusable and are supposed to be environmentally friendly. In the end i think they might be just as evil as the paper and plastic we just throw away (or that i re-use as garbage bags around my house).

Anyhow looking at 1000 of anything over and over for 8 hours is mind numbing and awful. I can't imagine what is doing to my eyes. I currently have 2000 done and will finish the remaining 7000 this week. Please think of the bullshit that goes into making canvas bags the next time you use one.

sites (some things i've seen in the last year)

2008-04-16T22:45:00.006-05:00

1. motorcycles- brooklyn, new york

2. barton natural springs- austin, texas

3. unknown subject (man as robot)- denver, colorado

4. horse and chair sculpture- denver, colorado

5. mountains- unknown

6. the vertical violet house- wichita, kansas

7. gentleman auction house- austin, texas

8. horse drinking out of a fountain- central park, new york

9. ryan reed- central park, new york

10. call me lightning- austin, texas

11. hotel- kansas city, kansas

12. the vertical violet house (inside)- wichita, kansas

13. the vertical violet backyard- wichita, kansas

14. the vertical violet backyard- wichita, kansas

15. black cat- wichita, kansas

May i suggest

2008-04-16T21:16:00.000-05:00

in one of my older posts, i wrote about what i considered to be "perfect records". I realized this was completely based on opinion, which is fine, but i decided to take that post down. I could give a shit if you like the same records as me. Music is weird to me like that, i think music is a very personal thing and yeah it is cool to share with people, but i have been in far too many arguments with people about "good bands" and what is the best album or song by a particular band. So i hate talking music most of the time. I felt like it wasn't that important to list what i think are "perfect records" although a year later i still did agree with my list, but today i would have added two records to that list. So here are those records, i don't care if you think they are perfect, just take them as two suggestions of good listening materials to check out.

KARATE- KARATE
GRAHAM NASH- SONGS FOR BEGINNERS

it's been a year or so....

2008-04-16T20:34:00.000-05:00

I started this blog nearly a year ago, and stopped after a few months of writing it. I think i brought too many personal issues into this blog and that I was concerned what people would think, or that I would hurt peoples feelings. I even went private for awhile and realized no one reads this anyways. So after a year or so i opened this blog and read 4 or 5 posts that i had written, and realized that a year later that alot of things i had wrote about are basically happening again. I was going through some rough times and looking for a change, and now a year later all those things that i wanted to change have basically come true. I hated the living situation i was in, and though i am currently still in that situation it will be changing in a few months. I think this is good, and i am really looking forward to the change. However i need to figure a lot of things out (money, roommates, how to basically become a landlord, etc.) I has also posted a blog that had a lot to do with the band that i am in and some issues i was having. It turns out we are still a band today and maybe those issues weren't that big of a deal. However i still have issues (new issues), but maybe that is part of being in a band and essentially having a relationship with 3 other people. So it is kind of weird to look back at a year past and realize that i am kind of in the same boat, that things have changed but are still somewhat the same, that i am not completely happy with everything i am doing or involving myself with. I do think things are going to get better in the next few months, and as the weather gets better i feel better and more motivated to do things. So i here is to change and warm weather and basketball and home run derby's.